Have you ever wondered how people perceive you?
I'm always trying to figure out what I look like through someone else's eyes. So yesterday I decided to ask some of my good friends for their honest opinion of me. I pretty much got the same answers: happy, outgoing, spontaneous, smart, strong-willed. Now, I'm not complaining about any of the answers I got, but I must admit I was very surprised!
I definitely wouldn't consider myself to be happy most of the time. I'm usually miserable cause my stepmother and I fight ALL the time (not as much now since I'm in college and out of the house). I even was diagnosed with depression a few years back (I'm a lot better these days :) When I heard spontaneous for the first time, I thought that was a mistake! I always think through everything that I do. I might do something "out there" or stupid, but 99% of the time I sat there and thought about all the possible outcomes and then just decided it was worth it.
The more I think about it, the more I feel like maybe nobody really knows me. Or maybe I'm just good at hiding how I really feel. Honestly, I'm scared to show most people how I'm really feeling because I don't want anyone to see me as weak. I don't even like crying in front of people (even my family sometimes) because I hate being vulnerable. Does this mean I'm lying to people about who I really am? I don't want to be a fake... I'm just scared to get rejected cause of my weaknesses. I haven't even been in a real relationship in a while because I'm scared to put my heart out on the line since last time my heart got stepped on and broken.
So I guess the real question is: Who am I? :/
Although I'm not quite sure who I am, I know one thing for sure: I am me. I'm thankful for all the people in my life who love me and put up with me despite my flaws Hopefully as life goes on, I'll be able to discover more about myself and become content with who I am.
We sound a lot alike. But all you can do is be yourself. If people don't like it then it is their loss. I never worry about what people think of me and at the same time I am always worried about what the ones I love think about me. Life can be hard.
ReplyDeleteI would suggest that you keep a journal and reflect on it often to discover the true you.
ReplyDeletePerception is definitely weird when it comes to others. A few weeks back I had someone tell me she thought I was one way, when in reality I'm the complete opposite. It got me thinking as to how others perceive me, much like how you're feeling. It's pretty interesting.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Joy, but to do that you have to be strong. A journal is a really good idea too. As long as you are happy in your own skin then does it really matter what people think of you? A bit yes, but it shouldn't worry you.
ReplyDeleteI used to care what everyone thought of me, even strangers, but now at the age of (almost) 30 I've realised that actually I'm not so bad and I was just weighing myself down for no reason.
Live life, have fun, and learn to let go!
x
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